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二大爷:十年生死(图)

May 16, 2018

如果一定要为自己找一个思想转变明显的点,我会选择十年前的大地震。那场撕心裂肺的悲剧和随后歌舞升平的奥运会,彻底改变了我的看法。无数尸骨堆积的血泪,连同雪灾、药品污染、金融危机、三聚氰胺构成了记忆中的裂变之年。如果说之前只是不满和质疑,那之后,只剩下永不回头的厌恶

我根本记不得他们家拿了多少的金牌,但我会永远的记得那些从废墟中伸出来的小手;那些在火车站的广场忍饥挨饿的民工;那些喝了毒奶粉的大头娃娃。

判断一个人的人品,不是看他为善的高度,而是看他作恶的底线。以个人之力,恶尚有尽头;以国家之名,则恶永无尽头。

那一年,我刚刚成为父亲。抱着自己的孩子,对于那些失去孩子的家庭的苦楚,感同身受。那些埋葬在曾经的豆腐渣瓦砾里面的幼小生命,成为看清这个盛世最残酷的注脚。在那之后,尽管还目睹了无数丧事办成喜事的悲剧,但是从来没有一场如此多生命铺垫的悲剧,让我们得以打破清平的幻梦,睁开蝼蚁的眼睛。

再多的感动,也抵不过是刻骨铭心的伤痛;再多的烛光,也只能是无奈悲切的哀悼;再多的捐赠,也终究是不明去向的糊涂;再多的诘问,也终于成寻衅滋事的由头。这个民族三千年文明史上的最不能忘却的血泪,往往不是天灾,全是人祸。

从那以后,每次我听到三峡大坝或者是多难兴邦这样的词汇,我都默念神兽一百遍作为配合。我也依然会每年坚持捐赠助学,但从来不会通过官方的渠道。我开始从一个一门心思写小说的文艺青年,毅然决然的转身开始写历史。

犹太哲学家阿多诺说,奥斯维辛之后,写诗是野蛮的。

如果说那些不能挽回的生命,对于我们还有什么积极的意义,那就是终究有那么一部分人,擦亮了眼睛,背负血泪,重新出发。

不必感恩,因为无恩可感;尚可期待,因为未来已来。

2018/5/12

——转自新世纪(2018-05-13)

中国人权双周刊》第235期,2018年5月11日—5月24日

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